A Year in the Life of a Lung Cancer Survivor – start from the beginning here and bookmark our blog as we chronicle Jeff’s experience in bite size blogs posted once a week.
“According to the notes I’ve kept scribbled on a pad by my desk, it’s been a year now. One year as a lung cancer survivor and I’m still kicking. I’m pleased to be here and glad to be offered the chance to share some of the events from my experience with lung cancer.”
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August 8, 2013: There is no line, no waiting, you don’t even get to sit down, when you have a doctor’s appointment before the clinic opens up.
They ushered my wife and I back to an examination room and before we could even sit down, the doctor entered the room. He sat on the little stool and rolled right over in front of us. There was no beating around the bush. “You have a mass in the upper portion of your right lung.” he said. “It’s about the size of a ping-pong ball and I can’t say for certain that you have cancer, but you most likely have cancer.”
There it was.
Have you ever watched a child trying to pour a glass of milk with a full gallon jug? Part of you wants to help them, because they are likely going to spill and make a mess, but the other part of you knows that they need to build confidence that only comes from learning how to do challenging things for themselves, so you watch… If you’ve done this exercise very many times, you’ve probably seen this: The stream of milk wavers back and forth as the little hands and wrists try to control 8 pounds of milk tipping over at a level approximately even with the top of their head. Then the scene switches into slow motion as the milk jug dips down and catches on the rim of the glass. They can’t stop the momentum and you see the half-full glass begin to tip. You can’t move. Everything is frozen in time, except for that glass and the stream of milk coming from the jug. Then suddenly, the milk is on the floor, the glass clatters around on the counter and the child stands there getting ready to cry.
That slow-motion moment had just happened for me. Suddenly the milk was on the floor and it was my turn to cry.
I don’t remember if I said anything or not in that moment. Thankfully, the doctor continued, as he enthusiastically explained that it appeared that the mass was very contained with no evidence that it had spread to the lymph nodes or the ribs. He told us that we are going to attack this thing quickly and effectively and “we are going to kick it in the ass and get rid of it.” He had already set me up an appointment to have a CT needle biopsy done the following week and went ahead and made appointments with a highly recommended oncologist and a thoracic surgeon in the event that the biopsy revealed that the mass was indeed a cancerous tumor.
My wife and I left the office in a bit of a shock. So much to process, so many questions, so much numbness. We both agreed that we couldn’t spend the next week worrying about the “what-ifs”, so we hugged, told each other, “I love you.” Then, after deciding that we couldn’t spend the day just moping around, we got in our vehicles and went off to work.
I remember arriving at the office and telling my co-workers about the discovery. I remember going to the computer and reading the first of many pages I would process over the next few months about lung cancer. The first items that caught my attention was this little gem,
“Overall, 16.8% of people in the United States diagnosed with lung cancer survive five years after the diagnosis, while outcomes on average are worse in the developing world. Worldwide, lung cancer is the most common cause of cancer-related death in men and women, and was responsible for 1.56 million deaths annually, as of 2012.”
“That can’t be right.” “I’ve never smoked. No way that I’ve got lung cancer.” After reading a few more websites citing the less than 17% five-year survival rate for lung cancer patients, I forced myself to turn off the internet, put my head down and get back to work. There was no sense doing all of that worrying when I didn’t even know for sure that it was cancer. I sent an e-mail to my pastor and a few friends asking for their prayers and started back in on the piles of paperwork that I was still dealing with after coming back from vacation.
Just another day at the office…
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